333 blog | #2026

Feels like a frigging decade ago since I wrote and some quite insistent requests have been flying into my inbox begging for me to dribble online again…. So here goes!

I have been absent for the colder months of 2013… Or if you can even call that Winter! And SHIT has gotten real the last few months ….

• I have fallen in love with my new job and the people there, not to mention the abundance of tickets and culture
• and now planning my takeover of showbiz…. Starting with writing ‘iBosch the Musical’… 5,6,7,8….
• On a serious note I have given up the iPhone and gone Android…. Everyone is doing it so don’t get left behind
• My Bessie left me for Shanghai adventures and have been in mourning ever since
• 5 more fucking yoghurt bars have opened up in Bondi…. When will they learn!! But as a side note… Messina is opening on Hall street this September …say Salted caramel gelato!
• 3 engagements in 10 days….so 2014 is about weddings and love! Congrats my lovlies!!! I am pumped for all the bubbles and countries ahead!
• There have been about 50 babies born… running out of cute ideas for gifts…
• The 333 is bringing me pleasure every morning and making my dreams come true in the evenings with the people and their ridiculous manners and habits… + The Brazilians are back!
• My flat mate still hasn’t unpacked his boxes from moving in 6 months ago… So I have decided to start making them functional… Like as my cloak rack for starters
• I have learnt that French people are quite tone def and are a hoot at Karaoke… Hahahaha.
• A quick trip to Thredbo for some beats and shredding… Thanks Reelax, Jet and ALyssa for an epic trip
• I discovered Vance Joy and now have him on high rotation thanks to Cassational… #Riptide

There is lots to share, however I am going to drip feed my stories of #2026 over the following weeks…. There have been quite the Winter adventures….

Watch this space … X

SONG OF THE DAY

X89 blog | post helpmanns (late)

NB: This is yesterdays blog … today! Sorry its long … 

It’s only 9am Wednesday and I feel like I have been smashed directly in the face by a mack truck travelling 200km an hour on a German autobahn! Massive puffy eyes…

It’s been busy… And as I wait for the bus and watch the wild ocean this morning in its dark blue and bright aqua I can’t help but think in no way is my life boring!

Let’s start with Monday…. The excitement built all day as my crew and I were set to attend the Helpmann Awards 2013, walk the red carpet and rub shoulders with Australia’s raw talent in theatre, musicals, dance, festivals, opera and all things performance! We were all ‘hair by Adam’ (thanks mate for coming in to make us fab), frocked and dazzling as we head to the Opera House for an abundance of bubbles!

I was definitely channeling 17 year old dancer iBosch and was pretty excited at the who’s who! I even got to see one if my old dance buddies win a Helpmann for choreography! Pretty amazing!

So getting into the event… There was the red carpet and the flashes were going off like firecrackers! And you know the bit beside the red carpet …. Well thats the bit that I got to walk on…. My timing was perfect! Baz Luhrmann, Tina Arena and Sarah Murdoch/O’Hare were starting their accent up the red carpet stairs! I couldn’t believe they stole my moment! Then I saw good old Molly Meldrum heading up the stairs slowly and surely. I guess you can say I walked up the stairs at the same time as them…. #notthesame

The night was full of laughter, f-bombs during the ceremonies (very Aussie), awards, speeches, performances by Tim Minchin, the Grease cast, Hot Shoe Shuffle, contemporary dance companies and Eddie Perfect and Christie Whelan Browne as our hosts! Kylie was awarded for her great contribution to the Australian Arts and music industry and accepted her speech from somewhere outside Australia! Nice! Legally Blonde took best Musial and Uncle Fester from Addams Family took best supporting actor in a musical … These were my highlights anyway!

The awards lasted from 7pm-11:30pm… The shine and luster began to wear off…. Did I mention there was no bar during the ceremonies … parched, hungry and wearing killer heels I began to lose my will to live … Where was this abundance of bubbles? My body was built for festivals, why could I not get through an awards night … I don’t understand! When it was over I felt like I had been on a long haul flight with no booze and someone forgot to wake me when the meal trolley came around… Know it? The show closed with Timoatic (is that even a real name?) ….  and I started to get some spark back …

Now we were off the after-party …. It was pretty glam and this is where we found the abundance of bubbles for a small fee ….  OHHHHH the arts! Hahahahah one free drink on arrival and then up to you to open a tab …. I virtually tackled the poor women who came out with a tray of sliders and then followed the women with the sesame seeds prawns grabbed a handful and ran away feeling very triumphant but a total porky pig!  I really felt sorry for the wait staff … tough and really really hungry crowd descending on them …

I smashed two-three champers and got out of there …  I figured I have only been in the industry for 3 months and my strategy is  to next year own that shit as I will have schmoozed and wooed all the industry greats in the next 12months  …. It was an awesome night, but gee I felt like I had been chewed up and spat out ….. And as my colleagues would get me to say …..

T H A N K  Y O U  H E L P M A N N ‘ S!

333 blog | once you go black

Can you believe the weather today? Its almost beach time…. Almost anyway! 22 and sunny! Drink it in today folks!

This is my first post from the Galaxy S4 … Its feeling pretty smokin’! After a full weekend us getting to know each other…. I am not sure I will go back to iPhone. Our first date was a little rocky but the second date took me to the stars! I am pretty impressed with this pocket rocket and can’t believe the level of customisation you can layer on to it … And now that I realise the little box Apple were trying put us in or should I say lock us in is disgusting! + Angry Birds is free on android! Holy shit right … Now I know you want to change!

The toughest thing to give up is iMessage…  Apples dumb messaging service that they won’t share on Android. Your actually driving us away Apple! Didn’t your mother teach you how to share?

All my messages have been going to my iPad and macbook…. So sorry if I didn’t get back to you this weekend… Whatsap, FB messenger and Google Talk for group chat now!

Some loser just got on the bus and walked through without paying…. The driver tried to stop him to no avail… I mean I def take advantage of public transport and be as thrifty as possible to save here and there…  But I still pay something! #loser

TEASER ALERT! Watch this space for tomorrows blog
am off to a very exciting night tonight …. #redcarpet

X89 blog | car crash

Not my morning …. If you would like to witness’s car crash you need to cast your eyes my way….

11 hours earlier…..

Arrived home from office exhausted, order some super yummy Thai and sat on the couch (which haven’t done all week) to watch Luther Season 3 … Food was down and my eyelids were incredibly heavy and that was when I knew to bed it was for me! At like 10pm… Unheard of!

Sit bolt upright panicked, pick up phone, it reads 8:05! Holy shit Batman, Robins gonna be deadline surfing this morning….

Literally morph to shower…. It’s not getting hot! Fuck power outage last night… Throw clothes back on. Go outside flip the ‘fire trucking’ switch and go back in side. Trip on stairs on the way back up, nearly lose my two front teeth! Can’t wait for the hot water to heat up…. So dive in! I wanted to scream sooooo loud with how cold it was in there …. Shivering and quivering like a puppy that your leaving at home for the first time, I manage to get through it and survive!

Operation ‘toasty’ is now in affect as I try and warm up, throw the clothes on and fly out the door …. I see a 333 is sailing past my stop …. Missed it! Shit! Run iBosch run!

Gone…..

Get to bus stop frazzled and crying…. Not sobbing crying. But have used a new mascara this morning and my eyes are watering like taps and starting to swell… Pretty sure I am allergic and won’t be able to see by the time I get to MP!

Through one squinty eye and tears rolling out of it, I see a X84 approaching!I am saved and I have a few moments to relive and collect myself before I smash Friday people’s!

I declare I will not be defeated!!!

333 blog | ne hao (ma)?

I am pretty sure Satan was living in the bottle of red I consumed last night and this morning he is conducting a ceremonial dance with the troop, ‘all things evil’, clicking his hooves together with great excitement in my right temple….

What was meant to be a very quiet night all changed when I got home for a Skype call with the bessie in China! One managed to drink pretty much a bottle of gorgeous grapes that tasted soooo good I couldn’t stop …. Before I knew it the Devil had truly twirled me around and around, spat me out and I dizzly fell into my bed … quite late …

We may gave also booked some flights to China ….

Shit! Hahahaha …. Shangers here I come! But can I tell you there are super cheap flights with Qantas at the moment for international  escapes!

January is not only the coldest month of the year in China but I will be there for the national ‘Ice Festival, Harbin’ where it can get as low as minus 20 as I have just learned … Can I say I am pretty pumped and it looks like we will sneak in a bit of shredding on a mountain and quick walk of the great wall ….

Now I know this is coming the ‘dustiness’ and ‘red-fog’ seems to be lifting and I think I am gonna get through the day in pretty snazzy form …

#.cn #dumplings

333 blog | sausage anyone?

I would like to talk to you about the 3 seats closer to the front of a newish bus that face each other, where usually a mother will lift the seats and pop their pram …. You know it?

Well the point this morning is, there is simply not enough room for three adult women and three handbags and the women in the middle has a shoulder bag that is sitting on my lap … The right of my face is pushed up against the glass, my left arm pinned under the shoulder bag of women in the middle and my right against my body, where I can only just release my right thumb to write this. And trust me this is a mission to stay concealed from the people around me….

The bus is so packed and the driver is trying to cram on more …. He possibly can’t! We are like sardines …. He gets a few more on… And there is literally a penis in my face with no where to escape! The full frontal seats to standing passengers is not the way forward at peak hour! I am not looking forward to the right hand turn at the top of Bondi road where everyone leans left!

Sausage for breakfast anyone?

My wish today is, please make more room on these seats Sydney Transport and I pray we don’t crash on the way up to the junction and have a very awkward moment ….